
I will always remember Matt for the sweet and thoughtful things he used to do for me. He would always buy me flowers, cards
and chocolates. I used to come home tired from work to find rose pedals leading to our bedroom bathtub lit with candles. I
remember coming home one day to find our marriage license framed and hung above our dresser in our bedroom. He really knew
how to make me smile and feel so special. Sometimes he would surprise me with visits at work, but the most special day was
the day he proposed to me. We went out to a nice romantic dinner at the Firehouse in Old Sacramento, followed by a nice romantic
walk by the water. Soon after he got down on one knee and popped the question.
I often think about the day we found out we were having a baby. He kept insisting I take a pregnancy test because he could
sense that I was pregnant. A few tests were misleading. They said no, and other tests were inconclusive but Matt was presistent.
He bought five different types of pregnancy tests until we got one that read PREGNANT in Bold letters. We both hugged
and kissed and cried and could not believe how quick God had blessed us with what Matt dearly wanted more than anything. And
that was to have a child. Our child.
We often wrote eachother love letters. April 9th after finding out through an ultra sound that we were having a
little girl in a lovely card Matt wrote:
Dearest Esther,
I am so excited that Marisol is growing in your womb. I can't wait to hold our beautiful daughter.
I love you so much! I look forward to raising our family together. I dream of holding our daughter and giving her kisses.
You are a wondeful mother and wife! Your love is everything to me. Our beatiful Marisol is the timeless symbol of our
love. Please Marisol hurry into our lives. I love you both!!!
Love, Matt
August 2008 I gave birth to a precious little girl without him. It was the hardest thing to do, to bring a child into this
world without her father there to share that joy. However, I need to be strong for my daughter and be the best mother
I can. I take comfort in knowing that my daughter is blessed with unconditional love from me and my family. Marisol is the
happiest baby in the world and Alex is absolutely thrilled to have someone he can read to and play with. She looks a lot like
her father; her eyes, her smile, her chin and of course she has daddy's long fingers. We miss him every day and often wonder
what would life be like if he were here. I know she would love to be in his arms as much as I did. As I move away the
angry feelings as I should my grieving begins. I remember the good times we shared together. As painful as it was
for me and everyone else, I try not to dwell on that last fateful decision he made. I must honor how he lived and not
how he died. Holding on to angry feelings can cause a lot of damage.
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